Part 2: Why Financial Strain Feels Like Quicksand

Hey family, it’s Michael, back again with a Tuesday message.

Last week, in Part 1, we introduced this series by talking about what makes our experience in the sandwich generation unique. For most families, parenting shifts as children grow up and parents age on a predictable timeline. But when your child’s needs are lifelong, the timelines overlap in ways most people never anticipate. We set the stage: two generations pulling on the same pillar, you, and the truth that even one crisis can topple everything.

This week, we step into Part 2: Financial Strain.

Think of this journey like levels in a game. Last week was “awareness mode,” naming what makes our load heavier. Now, in Part 2, we’re moving into “challenge mode.” The challenge is this: money stress doesn’t just weigh on us, it multiplies and spreads like quicksand.

Why financial strain multiplies so quickly

When two generations depend on you, the strain doesn’t just add up—it multiplies. Every new demand pulls you deeper.

• Two timelines collide. A parent suddenly needs assisted living, anywhere from $3,000 to $7,000 per month depending on the state, while your child still requires therapy that costs $500–$1,000 per month. Both are urgent. Both are non-negotiable. And you’re stuck in the middle.
  

• Hidden income loss. It’s not just reducing hours at work. What if you become sick, injured, or disabled? Even a temporary gap in income can unravel everything. Without protection, your child’s therapies and your parent’s care stop immediately.
  

• Benefit cliffs. Something as small as a raise at work, or a relative helping with a cash gift, can disqualify your child from SSI or Medicaid. One oversight can erase thousands in benefits.
  

• Fragmented support. One sibling chips in for medications, another covers part of the facility cost, and you cover therapy and transportation. Everyone is contributing, but because it isn’t coordinated, it leaks faster than you can refill.

Questions most families avoid, but shouldn’t

These are the uncomfortable questions that make the risks real. Pause on them:

• If you had to step away for 90 days, which therapies, bills, or supports would stop first?

• If your parent’s care facility raised the cost by $1,500/month, where would that money come from, without touching your child’s plan?

• If your income dropped by 25% tomorrow, what collapses first, housing, therapies, or your own health?

• If a family member offered financial help, would it unintentionally push your child over the asset or income limits for benefits?

• If you weren’t here tomorrow, how quickly would your family know what insurance, benefits, or accounts even exist, and how to access them?

These aren’t easy questions, but they are the questions that turn quicksand into firm ground.

Practical steps families can actually take

Let’s be real: not every family can stash away six months of expenses. Many are living month-to-month already. That doesn’t mean you’re powerless, it just means your steps need to be practical and layered.

1. Map 30–90 days of essentials. Even if you can’t save it yet, write it down: housing, food, therapies, transportation, insurance. Naming it gives clarity.
   
   

2. Separate core vs. flexible. Label what is absolutely non-negotiable (therapies, rent, medications) vs. what could pause temporarily (subscriptions, extras).
   
   

3. Protect income first. Employer disability coverage? Know the waiting period. No coverage? Explore affordable supplemental options. Because without income, every other plan collapses.
   
   

4. Build a mini buffer. Even $500–$1,000 in a separate account can buy weeks of breathing room. Small, steady deposits count.
   
   

5. Use the right accounts. ABLE accounts for your child, separate checking for parent care, coordinated with your trust plan. Avoid commingling, it matters.
   
   

6. Leverage insurance as the engine. Not everyone can save six figures. That’s where life insurance and living benefits step in. They create liquidity when your family needs it most.
   
   

7. Create a continuity kit. One binder or folder with: Letter of Intent, guardianship details, insurance policies, account contacts, and daily schedules. Share it with two trusted people.

👉 If it helps, I built a Family Essentials Budget Sheet, use code VOYAGE30 for 30% off and start mapping your next 90 days with clarity.

Silent drains to watch for

Even families who budget well lose money here:

• Out-of-network provider switches

• Duplicate subscriptions

• Last-minute travel for parent care

• Overlapping therapy add-ons

• Tax deductions missed or mistimed

Each one looks small, but together, they accelerate the sinking.

Financial quicksand doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means the system wasn’t built for families like ours. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress. It’s protecting yourself so you remain the pillar strong enough to carry two generations.

Next week, in Part 3, we’ll dive into why emotional burnout shows up faster than you think, and how to catch it before it takes you down.

P.S. If you missed last week’s kickoff to this series on the “sandwich generation,” you can catch Part 1 here.

By The Way:

Planning for the future of a child with unique needs is never easy, but a Letter of Intent (LOI) can make a world of difference. It helps provide clarity, transparency, and peace of mind by outlining daily routines, emotional needs, financial support, and more.

Check out our LinkedIn post called 5 Essential Reasons Every Family with Unique Needs Should Write a Letter of Intent.

Here’s why every family should have one:

✅ Daily living details
✅ Emotional & behavioral insights
✅ Government benefits & eligibility
✅ Financial factors
✅ Legal considerations

🔽 Swipe through to see what most families overlook.