There was no day I burned out

Verse of the Week:

“Let’s not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season if we don’t give up."

— Galatians 6:9 (WEB)

There’s no specific day I can point to.

No single moment where I could say, that was the day I burned out.

Most of what you hear about burnout makes it sound like a collapse. One day you’re fine, the next day you’re not.

That hasn’t been my experience at all.

So this week I put out a video about it. Not the textbook version. Just how it actually looks from where I sit.

What it actually looks like

You learn to live with it.

You build a pretty high tolerance for carrying a lot at once. Things that are urgent. Sometimes things that are genuinely critical. After a while, that’s just how the days go.

Some days you get more rest. Some days the pressure’s higher.

But you’re living inside of it. You’re not waiting to get out of it.

Once you accept that, it actually gets easier to function.

There’s no single trigger either

A call from school. A call from a therapist. A deal that needs to close.

None of those happen because you had a bad day. They happen because that’s what a normal Tuesday can contain.

And it’s rarely just about one child. My son is on the spectrum. My daughter is four, and at that age she watches everything her brother does and imitates it.

So it’s never just managing autism. It’s managing him, managing her, still being a husband, still being a father, still running a business, still being a son.

Switching between all of it, all day.

What's in the video

Three things that have actually helped me:

1. Leaving your ego at the door with whoever you’re coordinating this with

2. Letting your circle get smaller, and why that turned out to be a good thing

3. Why not everything needs a solution

I also talk about the difference between corporate burnout and caregiving burnout, and why I’d take the second one every time.

Another way to look at it

I’ve had both.

Burnout from a sales number or a corporate deadline, when you walk away from it, nobody remembers it.

This is different. Whatever’s wearing you out right now comes from an act of love.

That’s a different kind of tired.

And if what you’re carrying has gotten heavier than tired, that’s worth saying out loud to someone. A doctor, a counselor, your pastor. Living inside it isn’t the same as being alone in it.

Questions to sit with

• Who are the two or three people you could actually call?

• When was the last time you and your partner checked in on how this is going, instead of just dividing it up?

If you’re in the middle of it right now, here’s the part I’d want you to hear.

You’re tired because you’re carrying something you love.

If this sounds like your week, send the video to someone who’d recognize themselves in it.

Watch the video →

Disclaimer: This content is for general educational purposes only and is not a substitute for clinical, medical, financial, insurance, tax, legal, employment, or HR advice. Please consult licensed professionals who understand your individual situation.